"Black Dougal gasps 'Poison!' and falls to the floor. He looks dead."

Friday, March 27, 2009

Northern Marches - Session One - Player Summary

The following was written by Jake, as he is known in the comments to the Premier of the Northern Marches post. He is the player of Belgar the Dwarf. I have a separate blog that I use specifically for the Northern Marches campaign where this was originally posted in a series of three comments. I laughed all day as these were posted.

Played last night for the first time with all but 1 of these folks. Had a blast good bunch of guys and will play again. I aplogize now for spelling errors or any other mistakes. So here goes the story of

Krocker fighter
Belgar the Beautiful dwarf chr: 3
Ganus the Frail cleric Str: 5
Danan cleric
Binford cleric
Rexall mage
Shuffles hireling, torch bearer, treasure carrier, trap finder, spear chucker

The brave adventurers leave New Hareth fully equipped and ready to defeat all who stand before them. They decided to check out the haunted Castle Hareth.( how bad can it be )
They trudge up beside the river knowing they are on their way to riches and glory. They arrive at their destination with one small problem they are on the wrong side of river. " I told you we should have asked people in New Hareth questions" Rexall says. Back to New Hareth the party goes to take the ferry across the river. Having solved their first mystery the party heads to the haunted castle.

They arrive at the ruined castle walking across the bridge and up to the huge double doors. One by one each adventurer shoves and pushes at the door but it will not budge. "Does anyone have rope" "how high are the walls" the players ask. Then Rexall with a solution that is borderline genuis says "lets all push on the door together."
Into the keep they go past the double doors. They enter a room with arrow slits in the walls and skeletons laying on the ground with a set of doors opposite the entrance. Warily they search the skeletons but find nothing. "i'm opening the other doors a foot and looking inside the next room" krocker says.

Peering in they spot 6 orcs with rusty crude swords. The hereos of New Hareth charge in yelling their mighty war cry "no hitting in the face". Krocker swings his mighty two handed sword killing one and Belgar smashes his hand axe into the face of another. Binford and Danan both swing and miss. Rexall and Ganis ever viligant stay by the door while shuffles bravely holds the torch. Now the 4 vicious orcs attack, the heroes are not afraid their wearing platemail " stupid orcs". They swing missing Belgar and Krocker but hitting Binford in the throat dropping him instantly, This startles the hereos "guess we can be killed" but they continue to swing. Krocker cleaves another orc and the rest drop their weapons and beg for mercy. But no mercy is giving by these mighty warriors they slaughter 2 more but one gets away. Rexall and Ganis now stride into the room as there is no need to "gaurd the door". Ganis applies first aid to Binford saving his life and he is soon up again and ready to go ( guess we are invincible).

We'll now that the heroes have shown the D.M. that they are the chosen ones and can not be defeated they search the room. They dont find much, some old weapons but upon searching the deafeted orcs they find near to a kings treasure. Silver they scream, nervously they count the silver some 3 dozen coins. Thoughts of ale and dancing wenches fill the hereos heads. "i'll carry our treasure" Rexall offers as he grins, thoughts of his own personal tower in his mind. "yeah that's a good idea give it to the evil mage" Binford replies " we split it now and carry our own gold" Belgar growls. With much sarcasm and grumbling the party decides that Binford the ever trustworthy already died once cleric will carry the treasure. Now that the Who carries the treasure? question is sorted out the party notices 2 more doors in the room. Opening both they noticed 1 leads into a dark scary hallway and the other door has happy, well lit stairs going up. " we will always go up stairs and we will always go through double doors" decide Rexall and Binford. With out an argument the party starts up the staircase.

Getting to the top the party enters a room with 2 statues. Rexall immediately goes into the middle of the room to stand "gaurd". "i'm tipping a statue over" Krocker screams with excitement. Over the statue goes, Binford shakes his head saying" that made alot of noise". To which Krocker replies " where does the treasure come out" But there is no treasure except a picture and a tapestry. "Here Shuffles you take the picture and we will all roll the tapestry up so we can grab it when we leave." Krocker says. Although there is no treasure the party finds another happy, birds singing, well lit stiarcase going up. Up they go defiant of all common sense till they are in another room where they find and roll up another tapestry. "Where is some more stairs" Belgar yells. By now The Hereos of New Hareth are cocky. Why shouldnt they be? They have defeated hordes of orcs, found a kings treasure and solved brain destroying riddles such as how to get across the river and how do we open this door. They do not know that death awaits them up just one more happy set of stairs.

The party climbs the stairs "knowing" they cannot be defeated. They walk into a room with a huge stained glass window and large tables. Rexall deciding the middle of this room doesnt need gaurding strolls up to the stained glass window. Suddenly and with complete surprise an oozy thing comes from under the table enveloping Rexall. The room goes into complete chaos all except for Shuffles and Ganus and calmly gaurd the door. Binford kicks over the table exposing the oozy thing for what it really is.... an oozy thing. They begin to hack at the oozy thing but one by one they are enveloped until only Belgar, Shuffles and Ganus are left standing. "i have oil" the door gaurding Ganus yells. With a throw only a stone giant could match he hurls the oil. It flyes through the air end over end then smashing to the floor. 5 feet short of the oozy thing and only 10 further then Ganus. "you couldnt even hit it " screams Belgar "i'm weak its not my fault" replies Ganus. Belgar grabs another flask from Ganus and tosses it all over the oozy thing. Grabbing the torch from Shuffles he then lights it on fire. With huge smiles the remaining hereos watch the oozy thing burn. But then they notice the oozy thing getting stronger feeding off the fire. Now, Shuffles this whole adventure had bravely and without concern for his own safety held the torch. Without him the hereos would have been doomed from the beginning, stumbling around in the dark. But now he was torchless and faced with a decision. With the accuracy of an elven archer he chucked his spear severly wounding the oozy thing then calmly walked out the door. With the oozy thing slowly crawling towards them Belgar and Ganus the victorious hereos from New Hareth left the room. " see Ganus thats why you carry your own coins. Binford's got all the coins and now hes dead again and that oozy thing's got em" says Belgar. " your right Belgar lets grab a tapestry on the way out and see if we can sell it" replies Ganis " sure" Belgar agrees as they walk down the stairs.

This story was overheard at the Dancing Dragon Tavern. A man with big ears by the name of Able who had a wench on each arm and a table full of ale told the story. He was buying ale for everyone and when asked where he got so many gold coins his only reply was"I sold an ugly picture"

I think that is worth some bonus XP.


  1. Ah, man. That is a beautiful tale of misadventure!

  2. I love it!

    "we will always go up stairs and we will always go through double doors" -- famous last words!